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My Insanity
The General Said I Would Have Days Like This - Ch 5 
7th-Jun-2007 09:19 pm
Title: The General Said I Would Have Days Like This
Author: Lady FoxFire
Pairing(s): Harry/Jack
Rating: R
Category(s): Crossover
Summary: - Sometime in life you have to do the one thing you absolutely dread to get the one thing you absolutely need or want, so you can do the one thing you have to do. And sometime people get sucked in to it.
Post Hogwarts, Slash
Disclaimer: If I was given the choice of own Stargate SG-1 or Harry Potter I would be hard pressed to decide… it also matter is Jack was still a Colonel and if Sirius was still alive but since neither one is I can safely say I don't own either series nor do I make any money from it.

Author Notes: In my defense I will simply say that my Muse had to be high off something when she had me write this chapter and that Harry's behavior will be explained in the next chapter.

Meeting The In-Laws
by Lady FoxFire
January 20, 2007

A pair of intimidating Marines escorted Harry down the hall towards a meeting with the Base’s Commanding Officer.

"So what is this place?" Harry asked Jack O'Neill and Lou Ferretti who were accompanying him to the meeting.

"A military base," Lou answered with a straight face while his eyes crinkled in amusement as he practiced the fine art of answering Harry's question by not answering them.

"Ah," Harry replied with a smirk since he knew this game very well, "and what goes on at this military base?"

A big cheesy grin appeared on Lou's face. "It's a secret," he said is an exaggerated whisper.

"So it's a secret military base," Harry stated making Lou’s grin get even bigger while Jack rolled his eyes. "And what does Jack do on this secret military base?"

"He makes the general to eat antacids by the fistful," Lou stated as he glanced over at O'Neill who was trying not to smile.

Stopping, Harry looked at Jack. "By the fistful?" As Jack shrugged his shoulders, Harry commented. "Not bad. I was able to drive the school nurse into early retirement. In her farewell speech she listed my numerous visits to her hospital wing as the main reason she was retiring."

Lou chuckled. "I'm sure Jack is trying to do the same thing with Dr Frasier, but for some odd reason she keeps retaliating by pulling out bigger and bigger needles."

"Ahh," Harry nodded in understanding. "Do not mess with healers for they are evil and have many tests to inflict upon your body."

"Truer words were never spoken," O'Neill said with a slight shiver at some distant memory.

"Bad experience?" Harry asked Jack as a smirk graced his face.

Jack snorted as he leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest defensively, while they waited for the elevator. "You could say that."

Harry raised an eyebrow inquiringly at Jack.

"So I take it you’re a connoisseur of hospitals and doctor’s offices?" Jack commented.

"You could say that," Harry said throwing Jack's words back at him. "I visited a number of different doctors when I was a kid."

"Were you sick?" Lou asked with a concern, as he looked Harry over as if to suddenly discover what the mysterious illness Harry had was.

"Not exactly," Harry replied as he emotionally started to shut down. "More like accident prone."

Lou and Jack shared a quick glance with each other as the elevator doors opened and Harry stepped in.


"… waiting for the DNA report for confirmation but from all indications, Mr. Potter is human." Dr Frasier reported to those gathered in the conference room.

"And what have you found out about the convulsions that both the Colonel and Mr Potter are experiencing?" Major Carter asked as she fiddled with her pen.

Janet sighed in frustration. "What we have now is inconclusive," Janet replied, "We know that direct skin to skin contact stops any convulsions that occur and that as long as Mr. Potter and the Colonel have regular contact it seems to prevent them also. However we're not sure what the trigger is. It could be a chemical excretion in the body's natural oils or sweat. It's also possible that it's a pheromone. We're not sure yet. Dr Wu is currently examining the samples we have. "

"I expect to be informed as soon as Dr Wu’s preliminary report is ready," General Hammond jotted down a few notes.

"Yes sir," Dr Frasier nodded.

"Have you discovered anything else Dr Frasier?" Hammond asked

Frasier looked down at her notes, unconsciously licking her lips. "Yes." She said in a drawn out way. “While it has no bearing on the current situation, Mr. Potter has an unusual amount of scarring on his torso and back. Some of the scars appear to have been made by a belt or whip; while others appear to be knife wounds."

"Child abuse?" Daniel asked a haunted look flashing briefly across his face.

"That's a strong possibility," Janet replied grimly.

"Could it be possible that the scarring was a result of this alien?" General Hammond suggested as he played devil advocate.

Frasier shrugged her shoulders. "It's possible. We have no way of knowing how long Harry… I mean Mr. Potter was under the alien's control. It's also possible that the alien rescued him from an abusive environment. We just don't have enough information."

Hammond nodded his head absentmindedly, his brow furrowed in thought.

At that moment a knock on the door interrupted the meeting. Private Sun opened the door. "Colonel O'Neill, Major Ferretti and Mr. Potter are here, sir," the Private announced as O’Neill, Ferretti and Harry passed through the open doorway.

"Thank you Private," Hammond said with a nod of his head.

"Jack," Hammond said with mix of fondness and a heavy dose of frustration.

"Sir," Jack replied with his typical 'I haven't done a thing' grin, which made General Hammond shake his head.

The General then turned his attention to the young man next to Colonel O'Neill. Noticing the young man's uneasiness Hammond slipped into the grandfather persona he used with new recruits and nervous alien visitors.

"Mr. Potter," General Hammond said as he held out his hand to Harry, as he projected the image of a kindly old man, who's going soft around the middle, "it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Very smooth General," Harry’s eyes hardened as if he was facing a hated enemy as he shook the General's hand. "If I didn't know any better I would almost believe what you just said."

Lou and Jack shared a glance at each other. This was not the Harry that they had just walked down the hall with.

"Son," Hammond's voice carried an unspoken warning as he refused to release Harry's hand.

Harry snorted. "Let's drop the kind grandfatherly type meets the naïve young man act. We're both old war dogs. You… well I was going to say have more gray hairs" Harry glanced at Hammond bald head, "but I sure as hell have more blood on my hands than you ever will."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Mr. Potter," Hammond finally released Harry's hand.

"Well since you don't know my past and I don't know yours we'll have to leave it at that," Harry growled.

Hammond's eyes narrowed but he made no comment to Harry's statement.

Turning to those gathered around the conference table, "Allow me to introduce you to my staff," Hammond said as he. "Major Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Murray and I believe you already know Dr Janet Frasier, Colonel Jack O'Neill and Major Lou Ferretti." Hammond nodded to the two men flanking Harry.

Harry's eyes widened slightly at the introduction of Dr Jackson. "Dr Daniel Jackson the archaeologist? The one who presented a paper on Egyptian pyramids being landing sites for aliens?" Harry asked

Daniel squared his shoulders, his chin raised slightly. "I am," he replied in a defensive tone of voice.

"We're been trying to find you for ages," Harry said, as the hardened man Hammond had meet moments ago morphed into that of a less world-weary youth. "I think Bill given you up for dead."

Jack stepped forward so that he was more or less between Harry and Daniel. "Bill?" Jack said in a concerned tone of voice. "Wasn't he the red head?"

"Yep," Harry was feeling very proud of himself for finding the missing archaeologist.

Daniel blinked a couple times as he tried to catch up with Harry's suddenly personality changes. "Umm… what did your friend Bill want?"

"Well Bill read your paper and from what I understand he found something that confirms your theory," Harry explained as he sat down in the chair closest to Daniel, "or at least he thinks they confirm your theory. He wanted to show them to you."

Daniel stared blankly at Harry as his mind tried to catch up with what the young man had just said. "Do you know what it was?" he asked excitedly. "Have you seen it?"

"Umm a few," Harry stumbled uncertainly as he tried to remember. "There were some stone thingies with some funny writing on it which Bill says weren't hieroglyphs or any of the other known written languages. His boss thinks it's it might be the language of the Old Ones but he wasn't too sure about that. A couple gold items that briefly glow, but only if held by certain people. They didn't react to everyone just a few of us. There was some other stuff but I can't remember what they were; I was kind of busy with other stuff, and then Bill was busy searching for your name, then for you. I know he was still trying to find you but then he found those snake thingies in the burial jars and…"

"Snake thingies?" General Hammond said the narrowing of his eyes the only sign of his carefully hidden concern.

A distant look appeared in Harry's eyes as he pictured the creatures in his mind eyes. "Well maybe calling them a snake isn't exactly right," he commented absent-mindedly. "They were more like an eel, a winged eel but then again they do hiss like a snake. On the other hand they seem to need water to survive like an eel. But they were definitely evil," a shiver flowed through Harry's body, "they had that feel about them."

"Mr. Potter," General Hammond’s firm voice seemed to snap the young man out of his thoughts. "These snake thingies, have you seen them? Been in contact with them?"

Harry blinked at the General a couple of times. "Yes, sir," Harry said hesitantly. "Bill and his team were able to capture them alive after they were attacked by them."

"How many of these snake thingies are there?"

"Five of them," Harry replied uneasily. "There was a sixth one but it died. Killed while they were trying to capture it.

"Mr. Potter," Major Carter spoke up for the first time," these creatures… did Bill tell you what happened? How they found the snake thingies or how they attacked?"

Harry looked around at those assembled at the conference table. Crossing his arms over his chest Harry leaned back into his chair. "You seem to be more interested in the snake thingies than what is happening with Jack and me," Harry stated.

To say you could hear a pin drop would not be an exaggeration at this moment in time.

"It's a matter of planetary security," Jack stated in a gruff tone, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Planetary security," The tone of Harry’s voice and his body language told everyone that he wasn't going to tell them anything more.

"Mr. Potter," General Hammond said in a firm voice that the members of SG-1 were very used to, especially when the General was dealing with either Dr Jackson or Colonel O'Neill. "This is an important matter. Please tell us what happened with those creatures."

Harry looked at Hammond, his face completely emotionless, for a moment or two before shrugging his shoulders.

"Bill brought them to England for study," Harry explained. "So a friend of ours, who has a talent for dangerous creatures, could look at them and try to figure out what they were."

"Do you know where they are right now?" Major Carter asked.

"Dead. All of them," Harry waved a hand to dismiss their importance. "When Tic saw them she freaked out and demand that we kill them. She said they were dangerous and one learns to never argue with Tic."

"Tic?" Daniel asked what everyone was thinking

"Nickname," Harry explained with a shrug and a smirk. "Her real name is Luna."

"Luna Tic?" Major Ferretti said with a snort.

Harry grinned. "Trust me, it fits."

"And afterwards, what did you do with them?" Carter asked steering the conversation back to the possible Goa'uld symbiotes on Earth.

"We gave them to Snape. He probably has them chopped up into bits by now," Harry replied simply with an evil smirk to his face. "Could have even fed them to one of his students."

"Fed them to his students!" Jack sputtered in outrage as he stared at Harry in disbelief.

"Well yeah," Harry said in such a way as if to ask what the big deal was. "Snape doesn't, as he would say, 'suffer dunderheads willingly' so there is a good possibility for him to follow up on his threat."

"Where in hell did you go to school," Lou asks in disbelief.

"A private school in Scotland," Harry replied with pride

"Harry Potter," Teal'c said, a raised eyebrow was his only reaction to Harry's blasé attitude, "would such behavior from a teacher be considered to be normal?"

"No! " Jack exploded in outrage before Harry even had time to reply. "No it wouldn’t."

Harry thought for a moment. "No, Jack's right. Snape was better then most of my teachers. He didn't try to kill me or eat me."

Daniel’s glass from slipped from his fingers as he choked then spat water out onto the table. "Someone tried to eat you!" he exclaimed as he wipe the water from his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Well he did apologize in the morning," Harry said as if that made everything all right.

"What in fucking hell kind of school did you go to?" Jack whispered as he stared at Harry.

"A private one in Scotland," Harry replied once again.

Lou chuckled softly. "You're pulling our leg on this one, ain't you," he said with confidence that he figured everything out.

"Nope. In my first year, one of my teachers tried to kill me about 3 or 4 times. Second year… well we don't need to mention what he tried to do. Third year was Remus. He was the one who wanted to eat me. Fourth year was Moody who was really Couch Jr who wanted to sacrifice me to his master. Fifth year was Umbitch who tortured me almost daily for more weeks than I want to mention and then tried to poison me…

"Where were all the other teachers while this was going on? Did you tell them?" Daniel asked

"They knew but it wasn't like they could do anything about it. Now the Headmaster, he wanted…" Harry was saying when suddenly Jack pulled Harry out of his chair and onto his lap.

The others shocked into silence at O'Neill's quick actions

"Umm… Hi," Harry said, his face turning bright red as Jack held him tight.

Jack hid his face within the crook of Harry's neck, hiding his embarrassment, his confusion, his shame. "What is going on with us? Why is this happening?" he whispered into Harry's neck.

"I'm sorry," Harry replied as leaned his head against Jack's, "this is my fault."

Jack raised his head to look at Harry. The embarrassment and shame in Jack's eyes bled away only to leave behind confusion with a small dash of anger. "You're fault," he whispered as he pushed Harry away.

Slipping off Jack's lap Harry returned to his chair. "I had no choice but to form the bond. There was too much at stake not to."

"And why is that, son," Hammond inquired. "What exactly is this bond?"

"It's a soul bond, sir" Harry said as he stared at his hand as he avoided looking at Jack or at anyone in the room. "That how Jack was summoned to us."

"Don't you mean kidnapped," Jack snapped before Hammond could ask for more of an explanation. "While I was in the shower, mind you."

"No," Harry drew that single word out in frustration. "You were summoned but you came willingly. No one can be summoned against their will. You wanted to come," Harry said firmly. "And as for you coming in the shower, that was your idea sodon't blame me!" Harry stopped; his mouth slightly open. Harry blinked once. He blinked twice. "I didn't just say that, did I?" he said slowly as he realized what he had just said.

A few low chuckles could be heard as most people tried to avoid looking at Harry's blushing face or avoid getting caught by O'Neill's death glare.

Major Carter clears her throat. "Mr. Potter,"

"Harry?" Harry interrupted her.

"Pardon?" Major Carter said in confusion

"My name is Harry," Harry stated, "only politicians and government brown-nosers call me Mr. Potter. My friends call me Harry. And you don't want to know what my enemies call me."

"Harry," Major Carter said with a smile. "You said you summoned Jack for a soul bond," Carter went on at the nod of Harry's head. "How did you do this and why?"

"That's something I want to know too," Jack growled as he tried to look menacing.

"Right," Harry sighs as he ran a hand through his hair. "Right," he says one again as he licked his lips. "I guess we should start at the beginning. Magic is real." Harry looked at his audience who wore a variety of expressions from mystified to disbelief and acceptance. "Elves, dragons, unicorns, witches, wizards, mermaids and other types of beings; they exist."

"Harry Potter," Teal'c said, "I had been informed that such beings do not exist. That they are tales to tell to children"

"They were wrong," Harry said after a pause. "We exist but we remain separate from the rest of the world."

"Why?" Daniel’s tone of voice saying that while he didn't believe in what Harry was saying he believed that Harry believed in what he was saying.

Harry paused for a moment gathering his thoughts. "Have you ever wished for something? That your life was easier? That special girl or boy would suddenly fall deeply in love with you? That your enemies would die?"

Harry looked at everyone gathered around the table before continuing. "Then imagine finding out about people who could do this for you. What would you do? Would you beg and plead? Would you bribe them? Give them your children as payment so that they would fulfill your wishes? Or would you kidnap them or their children? Would you torture them until they did what you wanted? Would you punish them when they failed to please you?"

"The witch trials," Dr Frasier said. "The Burning Times."

Harry nodded his head. "Most of those who died during those time were Muggles, non magic folks but some weren’t. Once in a while the witch hunters would be able to capture a fully-trained witch or wizard and if they weren't able to escape or were injured they would meet their end. But it was the Muggle born children, those who are born to non magical parents but gifted with the ability to do magic, they were the ones who suffered the most." Harry paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "It's always the children who pay the most."

A few of those gathered there sat in silence as they thought about what they had learned about what they’d learned in school and how those accused of being witches suffered a cruel and horrible death.

"That was a terrible time in human history but hardly that’s proof that magic exists," Carter firmly denied, refusing to believe that magic did exist

"No, but I think that summoning Jack from this base to my home is a good indication that it might exist," Harry countered with a smug smile on his face.

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic," Cater told him.

"And any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology," Harry countered. Harry leaned over towards Jack and said in a stage whisper, "I take it that she's the scientific type. Doesn't believe anything unless she sees it, tastes it and experiments on it and even then doesn't believe it."

"Harry," Carter said in a patient tone of voice, "I believe if you gave us a chance we could explain all of your so called magic."

A slight manic grin came to Harry's face as he bounced in his chair excitedly. "Does this mean I get to fry her brain?"

"What! "

"Fry her brain. I do that a lot to people," Harry explained as he looked around the room. "It normally happens when I do something that is impossible to do."

"Like what?" Hammond asked with dread.

"Living for one thing." Harry said as he started to name off things on his fingers. "Battle a 40 foot long snake that turns people to stone if you look at it. Survive an encounter with 40 soul sucking monsters that want to eat my soul while I'm forced to relive my worst memories. A fire breathing dragon, blast ended skrewts….

"Is that something like a Ass-blaster?" Jack asked

"From Tremors 3?" Harry asked to which Jack nodded his head

"Not another B movie junkie," someone groaned which sounded a bit like Major Ferretti.

"Sort of. They do shoot fire out of their as… behinds but they can't fly. Thankfully. I just hope Hagrid never sees that movie. He might want to try to breed Ass-blaster. Fighting a blast-ended skrewt… I think it was bigger than this table… was not fun I don't even want to think about having to fight an Ass-blaster," Harry said more to himself than to those in the room.

"You're insane, ain't you."

Harry though for a moment. "Yep," he said suddenly a big cheesy grin on his face. "But I'm not homicidal insane… unless it concerns two no three people. And then there are my teachers, my school friends and some of their families… I won't mind torturing them. I was thinking of starting off with Barney… that purple dinosaur. Do you think that too cruel?"

"Maybe a tad," Jack said as he watched Harry with concern in his eyes as the young man next to him became more and more unstable.

"So start off with the Teletubbies?" Harry asked innocently after a moment of though. "I'm thinking the red one was gay or was it the blue one? I'm not really sure anymore. Sirius would know. He knows everything."

"I believe it was the red one, Po, Harry Potter," Teal'c volunteered.

"Oh pleases," a voice said from behind General Hammond, "it's the purple one, Tinky Winky."

"Sirius," another voice said, "do you remember what I said about element of surprise?"

"Umm… no."

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